Malignancy
by Requiem of Spirit
Summary: How would you face the evil within yourself personified? Set during Battle City. Sequel to 5000 Years. I suggest you read the first story before undertaking the second.


Authoress' Note: Back at last!

Seto Kaiba stared broodingly out of his office window. It afforded him a spectacular view of the city—one of the few perks of running his own multimillion-dollar conglomerate, he thought petulantly. A hesitant knock at the mahogany door caused Kaiba to dig his fingers into his temples and suppress a sigh before he replaced the ruthless CEO mask he presented to the world. The OL scurried over to place a steaming cup of coffee on his desk. Kaiba took a grateful sip, and then wrinkled his nose in disgust.

_One might think that the most powerful man in KaibaCorp would not be forced to drink such noxious sludge as this_.

He tossed it down anyway (he and caffeine had begun a passionate love affair as soon as he took over KaibaCorp) and turned back to the mountains of paperwork necessary to make his Duel Monsters tournament a reality.

Kaiba was willing to do almost anything to make his competition the ultimate challenge for true duelists, and to expose Pegasus's farce for what it really was. At least that was what he let the rest of the world think. His ulterior motive he kept carefully hidden…

The woman had said many utterly unbelievable things, but any concerns about her mental stability were easily disregarded when she handed Kaiba the card. Oh yes, for Obelisk the Tormentor the CEO would endure many more hours of chatter about ancient pharaohs and dark sorcerers. This Ishizu even went so far as to state, in hushed, reverent tones, that Kaiba himself had participated in some kind of antediluvian Duel Monsters showdown. He had labeled her as crazy and was preparing to leave when she showed him something that made ice water run through his veins.

It was only the first day, but the girl knew that she and Sex Ed were not going to get along.

"This is a very serious subject, ladies and gentlemen. Abstinence is the only 100% guaranteed way to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases."

"_Oh, Ra," _thought sixteen year old Tea Gardner as she quickly shifted her eyes down to her desk and doodled in a vain attempt to look busy. But she could feel his eyes boring into her, and soon it was more than she could take. The teacher chanted on in the background as she lifted her head and mouthed in exasperation,

"We're _married!_"

Yugi just smiled in his infuriatingly innocent manner and turned back around in his seat. Tea felt herself turn bright red and stuck her pencil into Yugi's hair in retaliation. She pondered it in satisfaction before a roar of laughter interrupted her thoughts of how long it would take Yugi to find it. The teacher had just held up "a prime example of what _not_ to do for your abstinence posters". Emblazoned across the top of the paper in large block letters was, "SEX CAN WAIT, MASTURBATE!" Tea immediately recognized the script as that of Joey Wheeler. She put her head down on her desk and groaned.

"Yugi, it's going to be horrible! I can't even look at anyone without blushing in that class!"

The two were curled up on Tea's sofa after school. Yugi, Tea's best friend-cum-husband, ran a hand through his hair as he answered.

"Tea, no one knows! And it's not like there's going to be anything you haven't already-"

His hand paused, then pulled out the pencil. He pursed his lips.

"I suppose you think that's very funny."

Tea nodded happily.

"Well, I'm going to go sulk in the Puzzle for a while. You know, give you and Yami a chance for some _real_ education."

The switch happened so quickly that, instead of smiting its intended target, the pillow caught the pharaoh full in the face. Even looking stunned and slightly confused, he could still take Tea's breath away.

"I'm sorry?" he ventured.

Her hands flew to her mouth and she squeaked, "Oh Ra, no! I'm sorry! I was trying to hit Yugi BECAUSE HE WAS BEING _UNCOUTH!_" This last part was addressed, rather loudly, to the golden Puzzle suspended from Yami's neck. His eyes glazed over for a moment before he laughed and said,

"Yugi says he can hear that."

Tea rolled her eyes and flopped down into Yami's lap. He softly began tracing patterns across her face as she spoke.

"Do you realize that our marriage has lasted a thousand times longer than our courtship?"

Yami smirked. "I was just that irresistible."

His wife of five millennia snorted. "As I recall, Captain Obvious, the first words you said to me were 'You're awake.'"

Yami opened his mouth to object, but quickly closed it as he remembered that their first conversation had actually started that way.

Tea snickered, "Come on, I'm hungry."

She hopped up and padded into the kitchen with Yami trailing behind with the wounded dignity of a wet cat.

The invaluable Egyptian vase slipped from slender fingers and smashed onto the marble floor. But Ishizu Ishtar didn't even notice. She had just sensed, through the inexplicable bond that ties family together, the malignant evil that was her brother.

Authoress' Note: If you have never seen a wet cat, some explanation may be necessary. First you must understand that cats are the most dignified creatures on Earth, and as such they _despise_ looking stupid. Now, picture your precious feline sitting on the edge of the bathtub as it fills with water. The tail, groomed with a neurotic zeal, hangs into the tub. As the water rises it begins to lap at the end of the tail. The cat notices nothing, the temperature of the water being close enough to its own body temperature so as to not arouse suspicion. Gradually the entire tail will become immersed. The darling kitty will only notice something is wrong when it hops off the edge of the tub and the tail flops behind like a sodden dishrag. The cat will stop, aghast. It will slowly turn, pick up the tail with one paw and give it the most withering of glances. If you should happen to laugh at this point, which you undoubtedly will, the cat will stalk out of the room, pretending the sopping, offending appendage does not exist. Now you can truly appreciate Yami's expression.


End file.
